The Toilet Paper Revolution?????

A few days ago my friend L sent me an email that described a product which one could easily have guessed to be a fake, a joke, an email spoof. The product is "ShitBegone" Toilet Paper--and I'm here to tell you it's no joke and no spoof. It's the real deal.


I was so intrigued by the idea that I went to the website and ordered a case. It just arrived via UPS, and while the name of the product was not on the box, it was definitely identified as toilet tissue--96 rolls. (I think the UPS man wasn't sure whether to be amused or offer me sympathy for requiring this huge case of tp.) (I ordered the full case, because with a full case I get a free "ShitBegone" mug. How could I resist that?)


Anyhow, I immediately opened the box and took out a roll. Naturally, I grabbed my camera to memorialize the moment.




































Jed, the creator and owner of the small business enterprise that markets this unusual product, claims that ShitBegone is "the future of toilet paper." Says so right on the label.



I gather I am also now a member of the "ShitBegone family" with all privileges and responsibilites attached therewith. One of those responsibilities is to "fold" my toilet paper, not "wad it up". That way you use less and get better, ah, coverage. I confess I have been a life-long wadder but am trying hard to reform.











Of course, I had to put it to the test as quickly as possible. Since at the moment I had no need of the paper for its intended use, I decided to do a couple of other comparison tests.

From my master bathroom's paper holder I tore off a five sheet length of a major tp brand--the kind that Mr. Whipple used to admonish the ladies for squeezing (surely you remember that!) I tore off a similar length of ShitBegone, and folded each piece over once and then again. I placed one "pad" of paper against each cheek (the ones under my eyes) and considered. Hmmmmm. Yes, actually the "major brand" does feel a little scratchier, even though it has all these poofy, quilty designs in it that are supposed to make it soft. Hmmmm again.



Next test: I took the pads to the bathroom sink. I unfolded them and turned the faucet on to a fast drip. One at a time I held each sheet by the ends letting the water drip into the center. The first one was ShitBegone. As the water wicked up the paper, the paper began to break apart in my fingers. It's pretty, um, delicate, and dissolves rapidly in water. (I would expect that would make for efficient flushing.) Next came the Char...opps... the major brand. Holding the ends, I let the water drip on it, wicking up until the entire length of paper was wet.
ShitBegone on left.....major brand on right




Nothing happened. I pulled on the ends and it did pull apart in the middle, but this stuff is not meant to come apart readily in water, that's pretty clear. Hmmmm.


Final test (at least for the time being): I took both wet pads of paper and wadded them up as tightly as I could. Keep in mind they were almost the same length when they started out, with the ShitBegone slightly longer. The ShitBegone ball of wet paper was about half the size of the other one. (It should be note here that both brands are 2 ply.) Either there was more paper in the major brand wad or it was coarser and less compressible--or both.


The ultimate and final test is yet to come. (Sorry I just don't have to right now.) But I will be sure to give you the results when the verdict is in.



Meantime, you can check it out at ShitBegone . Better yet, google shitbegone and take a look at how many much buzz has been generated about this product.



I promised sample rolls to a few friends, but the rest of you are going to have to check it out for yourselves. Think of it as "the paper chase", or "following the paper trail", or "getting your papers in order'' or any other euphemism you care to add.